TEACHER: Why are you late, Frank? FRANK: Because of the sign. TEACHER: What sign? FRANK: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

P.S....... Did you know it's a sin for a woman to make coffee? It's in the Bible, it says " He - brews ".

A man comes home from a night of drinking. As he falls through the doorway, his wife snaps at him, "What's the big idea coming home half drunk?" The man replies, "I'm sorry honey. Ndikudzatapako ka dollar kena."

DAD: People this is unacceptable. You have to limit the use of the phone. I do not use this phone, I use the one at the office. MUM: Same here, I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone. SON: Me too, I never use the home phone. I always use my company mobile MAID: So WHERE is the problem? Tonse tikugwilitsa ntchito ma-phone akuntchito!!!!!!!

Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands. When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset. "You're running around with other women," she charged. "You're being unreasonable," Adam responded. "You're the only woman on earth." The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by someone poking him in the chest. It was Eve. "What do you think you're doing?" Adam demanded. "Counting your ribs," said Eve.